The Forgotten Field Novel - Chapter 27, 28
## Chapter 27
### THE FORGOTTEN FIELDS (NOVEL)
Those eyes, gleaming with anticipation, clung stickily to her chest before slowly sliding downward. Then, as if outlining the silhouette revealed beneath the thin fabric, they lingered there for a long moment before rising again to lock directly into hers.
Talia felt every muscle in her body tense. She knew she should run —right now—, but her legs refused to move. The man licked his lower lip and began to approach stealthily.
—If Your Highness would only allow me, then I…
His calloused, rough hand brushed the hair falling over her shoulder. With terrified eyes, Talia saw her golden strands get tangled in those clumsy, wood-like fingers. She couldn’t breathe properly. She should scream, demand to know how he dared lay a hand on her, but no sound escaped her half-open lips. Perhaps mistaking her immobility for consent, the man who had been gently caressing each strand of her hair now reached his hand toward her face. His palm, rough as sandpaper, brushed painfully against her delicate skin.
While fear gripped her and she shrank her neck, a large, gauntleted hand suddenly emerged from the darkness and seized the man’s wrist. Talia startled, as if waking from a trance, and stumbled backward.
Lifting her head, she saw a pair of brilliant silver-blue eyes flashing with ferocity. In that instant, her heart dropped to the floor with a thump. By instinct, she pressed her back against the wall.
Varkas, looking at her with an indecipherable expression, slowly turned his gaze toward the monk. Whatever it was that the monk saw in those eyes, his body, which had frozen like stone, began to tremble entirely as if he had run face-to-face into a ghost.
—I… I just… Your Highness, I just…
—Silence.
The deep, heavy voice cut off the man’s stammering excuses. The monk’s pale face contorted into a grimace of agony. It might look like Varkas was holding him effortlessly, but in reality, his grip seemed strong enough to break a bone. Staring fixedly at the sweaty monk’s face, Varkas spoke slowly:
—Neither of us wants to make this a bigger problem than it already is. Return in silence.
Groaning in pain, the monk nodded frantically. Upon releasing his arm, Varkas added:
—Until we leave this place, I suggest you stay out of my sight.
—Y-yes, of course.
The man whimpered, clutching his wrist, which had already swollen to a livid blue tone. Varkas jerked his chin as if telling him to get lost. Without delay, the man stumbled away, gripped by panic.
After watching his pitiful retreat for a brief moment, Varkas turned back toward her. Talia’s eyes met his before she could avoid it. Even though she had done nothing wrong, her mouth went dry and heat rushed up her neck. Restless and nervous, she darted quick glances at him, until his chillingly calm voice echoed in the air:
—Follow me. I will escort you to your quarters.
Talia, her body still tense, suddenly felt all the strength leave her arms. A strange mixture of frustration and sadness welled up inside her. *I was on the verge of being outraged. I was scared to death. And even so… you show yourself so distant?* Biting her lip with rage, she strode past him with large strides. She would rather die than show weakness in front of this man.
With her chin held high, she marched at a brisk pace through the garden. In a short time, beyond the long colonnade, she could see the dormitory reserved for the devout women. Keeping her gaze fixed ahead, she snapped abruptly:
—We are here. You can stop following me now!
Several knights stood guard around the building. She would not face the same humiliation again. She quickened her pace as if to flee, but after advancing only a few paces, she found herself trapped between him and the outer wall of the building. Talia looked at him with wide eyes.
—Wh-what… what are you doing all of a sudden…?
—Maybe you should get burned once, after playing with fire. —His voice sounded raspy, as if scraping the inside of his own throat. He seemed to notice it himself and paused briefly before speaking again, in a firmer tone—: Don’t you think it’s about time you learned to be careful?
She felt the blood drain from her face. Varkas studied her sharply, as if dissecting her with his gaze, and then slightly curled his lips.
—Or do you really wish to offer yourself to anyone so carelessly?
Without thinking, Talia threw out her hand to slap him. But, just like before, he caught her wrist before it could reach his face. Varkas added, slowly:
—If that is the case, I would still ask you to contain yourself; for now. Until this journey ends, I prefer that no troublesome incident arises.
Her lips trembled violently, but she squeezed them tightly. He released her wrist and turned around, saying:
—I trust you understand.
In that moment, if she had held a knife, she would have driven it into his back without hesitation. Like a fish sliding through water, in silence, she dug a murderous gaze into his back as he walked away. But when her vision began to blur, she turned her head quickly to the other side. Even knowing he wouldn’t look back, she was terrified that he might see her tears. Bruskly rubbing her eyelids with her sleeve, Talia fled into the interior of the dormitory.
The next morning, the ceremony proceeded as if nothing had happened. Talia sat by the window of the room assigned to her, looking down toward where the twins walked heading to the altar, with Varkas following behind them as their escort. Normally, she should have been among them too. But she had excused herself alleging health problems; a flimsy pretext to avoid the royal duty of participating in the ritual.
By right, the ceremony should have been postponed, but it continued as scheduled due to the firm insistence of the Crown Prince. Perhaps the monastery was even glad of it; they probably hadn’t wanted to bestow the god’s blessing upon an illegitimate daughter anyway.
«…Maybe I should have gone».
Talia let out a light, dry laugh, but seeing Aila and Varkas standing side by side before the altar, the smile vanished from her face. If she had been there with them, she didn’t know what she would have been capable of doing. Perhaps she would have lunged at one —or both— and tried to kill them.
«I can’t even distinguish anymore… which of the two I hate more».
Out of habit, Talia brought a hand to her mouth, but lowered it immediately, not wanting to ruin her newly grown nails. She couldn’t bear to keep watching. Pulling the curtains closed, she threw herself onto the bed.
Curled up in the dimness, the memories of the previous night swirled in her mind: those eyes full of lust, the hands reaching out toward her, and Varkas’s cold, ruthless gaze.
«Maybe you should get burned once, after playing with fire… Don’t you think it’s about time you learned to be careful?».
Talia covered her head with the blanket. Varkas thought she had seduced that man. Maybe he wasn’t entirely wrong. She had always been the kind of fool who cornered herself through reckless behavior… and it had always been his role to rescue her from disaster.
He had barely just escaped that damned responsibility, and now something similar had happened again; it was no wonder he was sick of her. At this point, he really must feel disgust for her.
She buried her face in the pillow and let out a low, bitter laugh.
She remembered the moment he had walked out of her life. Perhaps it was because something very similar had occurred just the night before.
Observing the thin rays of light filtering through the curtains, Talia slowly closed her eyes. The memories she had buried in the deepest depths began to scatter chaotically through her mind.
—
## Chapter 28
### THE FORGOTTEN FIELDS (NOVEL)
It must have been when she was a few months away from turning sixteen.
Feeling increasingly anxious at the thought that she would soon become an adult, she pestered him more than usual; she begged him to help her choose clothes or accessories. It was a desperate attempt to catch his attention. Normally, Varkas, who would have ignored such requests, must have been exhausted by her insistence, since this time he gave his opinion docilely. Perhaps he had become compassionate because he thought that, in a few months, he would finally get rid of her. That infuriated her so much she wanted to kill him. Even so, she was desperate enough to feel she would do anything just to keep Varkas tied to her side. Because the end, which had once seemed like it would never arrive, was now approaching.
—This one… what about this dress for the coming-of-age ceremony?
She put on a magnificent silk dress imported from the south and leaned forward proudly before him, showing off. Varkas simply lifted his usual dry gaze. That calm, indifferent expression made her face grow hotter and hotter.
He was leaving his nineteen years behind to turn twenty, and his body, which had just shed its boyish build, was becoming firm and emanating a masculine strength. If it weren’t for those lifeless eyes, he would have looked like an angel descended from the heavens. Talia, trying to hide her foolish, trembling heart, raised her voice deliberately.
—I asked you what you think!
—…It looks like a child stole an adult’s dress. —At last, his tightly closed lips opened. She arched her eyebrows. The man added, as if even speaking were bothersome to him—: It doesn’t suit you at all.
Her face flushed a bright red and she glared at him with malice. But given that she herself had asked for his opinion, it was difficult to retort. Digging a gaze full of venom into him, Talia stomped hard and headed behind the screen. She began to rummage furiously through the mountain of clothes accumulated there. She was determined to make that corpse-like man blush somehow.
After quite a while, she chose a bolder outfit; a daring dress with a neckline so low it was almost scandalous. She hesitated for a moment, thinking that perhaps it was too much, but soon took courage and quickly slid the dress over her body.
When she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw reflected a girl of a dazzling beauty. She examined her appearance with satisfied eyes. Her slender body, once as fragile as a birch branch, had begun to change slowly since she turned fourteen. Her chest, previously flat, had begun to bud and now had the size of small apples, and even her hips, previously narrow and straight, had begun to fill out slightly.
Talia was proud of her transformation. The idea that she was gradually approaching the perfect beauty Senebier possessed filled her with joy. If Varkas realized what she had become, he would surely see her differently. Soon she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. Brimming with that hope, she popped out suddenly from behind the screen.
—How about this one?
Varkas, who had been looking idly out the window with a bored expression, turned his head toward her. For the first time, something resembling an emotion appeared on his face, though it was far from pleasant. Frowning, he looked her up and down and spoke rather sharply.
—The first dress. —He took a deep breath and added frankly—: Keep that one.
His tone was dry, without a shred of the admiration or enthusiasm she had expected. Even so, the simple fact that he remembered the very first dress she had tried on among dozens made her heart feel like it was going to burst. She gave him a sly, mocking smile.
—What is this? You act as if you were indifferent, but after all you were paying close attention?
He didn’t answer. In any case, his only desire seemed to be that this tedious fashion show would end soon. His insolent attitude irritated her for a moment, but Talia decided to let it pass with generosity. She had promised herself to show him a version of her that changed gradually, even if it took time for him to notice it.
Humming happily, she took the first dress she had tried on. It was a delicate and elegant velvet overcoat, densely embroidered with elven patterns. This dress would never leave her closet for the rest of her life, because it was the one that had attracted Varkas’s eyes. She changed quickly, came out, and spun elegantly before him to show off.
—This one, right?
He contemplated her in silence. The woman who had been complaining all day was now laughing like a drunk person, and somehow, it didn’t even seem strange to him. Perhaps for him there was no difference between her raging like a beast or smiling like a madwoman.
But Talia wanted to believe that his attitude toward her had changed. After all, those indifferent eyes of his, at some point, had begun to linger on her face for longer and longer each time. That wasn’t all. Even the way he spoke to her seemed softer than before. Perceiving those subtle changes with a sharp intuition, Talia felt a fragile hope stir in her chest.
Could it be that Varkas also felt qualms about separating from her? After spending so many long years together, perhaps even he had developed some slight affection for her. Talia clung pitifully to that foolish hope.
—If I dance in this dress, don’t you think I’ll look exactly like the Fairy Queen?
At her question, a slight crease formed between his brows. Was he sick of her endless questions? No; perhaps he was actually thinking about how to respond. She decided to interpret it in the best possible way.
—Don’t just stand there looking. Practice dancing with me.
Before he could say anything, Talia suddenly grabbed him by the arm and pulled him toward her. In the past, he wouldn’t have moved a millimeter, but this time he let himself be dragged reluctantly.
*See?* Talia felt triumphant. Something had changed.
Drawing the stiff and uncooperative man closer, she spun around him again and again. Then, her foot caught on a trunk that was on the floor and she lost her balance. By instinct, Talia clung to his arm. Varkas muttered something indistinct and hurried to wrap his arm around her waist.
But the room was such a mess that there was no safe place to step. The mountains of clothes also tangled in his feet, and both fell together onto the carpet. Talia let out a small curse.
—You should have cleaned the room beforehand!
Varkas, who had cushioned the fall attempting to protect her, arched an eyebrow. He was her escort knight, not a servant. She knew perfectly well that she couldn’t expect him to do trivial tasks like tidying up, but she snapped at him anyway out of pure irritation.
—If I get a bruise on my butt, I won’t forgive you! Useless escort knight!
Grumbling while trying to stand up, she suddenly felt a sharp tug on her scalp. Talia looked at him with incredulity.
—Did you just pull my hair?
A brief sigh escaped his lips. —I think your hair got caught on the button of my sleeve. —He pulled slightly on the arm that had remained wrapped behind her back to show it to her.
The pain in her scalp made Talia scream and hit him on the chest. —It hurts, idiot!
He froze and then looked silently into her eyes, now misted with tears. Feeling a small pang of guilt, Talia nonetheless tried to keep his gaze fixed. Letting out another light sigh, Varkas slid his arm behind her again. Then, moving carefully, he began to untangle her hair.
Talia sat between his knees, her eyes moving nervously. It was only then that she became conscious of the inappropriate closeness of their positions. The faint scent of soap and mint emanating from his body made her heart beat so hard she felt it could explode. She was sure he could hear it too.
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