STGAAB Novel MTL - Chapter 782
Chapter 782: 13th Month (9)
After sending Amelia away, saying that I would go back to sleep, I laid down on my bed again, but sleep wouldn’t come. It wasn’t that I wasn’t tired after resting all day. It’s just… lately, I haven’t been able to sleep properly at night. During the day, I can keep busy and get through the hours quickly, but why can’t I do that at night? As soon as night comes, my mind comes tangled with thoughts.
“Hah……”
So tonight, as usual, I went out for a night walk. I started to slowly circle around the holy land. Despite it being the last night of the festival, the grounds were noisy.
“Behel—laaaah!!”
“Hahahahaha!”
As I moved in the opposite direction, trying to avoid the shouts of barbarians coming from the forest in the distance, I found my steps naturally heading toward the place I often visit.
Hmm, maybe the reason I keep coming back here is because of them?
Swoooosh-!
The cold night breeze of the 13th month brushed against my skin. I stopped walking and lifted my head to look at the sky. I saw a crescent moon. Staring at it made me feel like I was still on Earth, but then I was reminded again that this place wasn’t Earth. The reason is quite simple. If you look carefully, not only is the shape slightly different……
‘There’s no full moon in Rafdonia.’
For 365 days a year, whenever you look up at the night sky, you only ever see the same moon. Well, it’s not like a full moon never appears at all. Just like how Earth occasionally experiences a total solar eclipse, sometimes there’s a full moon here too. I’m not an astronomer, so I don’t know the cycle or principle behind it. And in a world where magic and mystery exist, it’s not exactly something to wonder about—.
Thud.
“Who’s there?”
When I heard the faint sound of movement, I responded aggressively. A barbarian warrior emerged from the side, scratching the back of his head with an embarrassed expression. Upon seeing his face, it was an unexpected encounter.
“You’re… Vector, third son of Kiltau?”
Relieved that it wasn’t Baekho my tension eased right away, but I didn’t expect to run into Vector like this.
“Oh! I didn’t think you’d remember my name! It’s an honor, chieftain!”
He shouted with excitement, touched that I called him by name, even though it was the middle of the night. Of course, this was common for a barbarian, so there wasn’t much to criticize. Since we met by chance like this, I decided to chat for a bit.
“Of course I should remember you. You’re the warrior who defeated me, after all.”
“…Hahaha!! If the chieftain starts drinking like me, you could drink even better!!”
No, that’s a bit much…… If I started doing that, rumors that Baron Yandel drinks alcohol while pissing his pants would spread throughout the city.
“So, why are you here?”
“…Haha!! They said that this is where my house will be built, so I came here ahead of time!!”
“…What?”
“I’m finally getting my own house, and I’m so excited that I can’t sleep! I’ll stay here until it’s done! This is my home now!!”
“Uh… I-Is that so? But why did you choose this spot? It’s near the cemetery……”
“I just like how cool it is here!!”
The more we talked, the more things felt off. The idea that I might have misunderstood him grew stronger.
‘Is this guy really a modern person……?’
Maybe the evil spirit hunters from the Ministry of Security who were once watching me felt the same way. If I had only seen him as he is now, instead of that brief, innocent moment during his coming-of-age ceremony, I might never have thought he was an evil spirit.
“Oh, by the way, did you choose a shield during your coming-of-age ceremony?”
“Oh! That’s right! I didn’t expect you to remember that……!! It’s an honor!!”
“How’s it been? Are you still using the shield?”
“I’ve ditched it and started using an axe! I only picked it because you chose it first, but it didn’t really suit me!”
“You chose it because of me?”
“Bjorn, son of Yandel, is the greatest warrior of all time! I wanted to follow in your footsteps! But gathering the essences was too difficult, so I gave up!”
How amusing. How would someone who just awakened during the ceremony know my name? I smirked as I looked down at Vector.
‘Still, it seems he’s a player, after all.’
The more I talked with him, the more certain I became. Though, as a fellow modern person, it’s a bit embarrassing to acknowledge……
‘I used to be like that too.’
Ah, of course, I’m not talking about mastering the secrets of Taiji. There was a time when I was just like Vector. Whenever I encountered the chieftain, I’d get tense and act even more barbarian-like. We didn’t have a long conversation, but I had a gut feeling.
‘…This guy’s going to live a long time.’
He’s fully immersed in his role as a barbarian. He also has the determination to use the principles of Taiji for financial gain. People like him don’t die easily.
“So, what brings you here, chieftain? Ah, are you heading to the cemetery again?”
“Not particularly, I was just patrolling.”
“Oh! Got it, good work! I’m hungry and tired so I’m going to get some sleep!”
Vector seemed eager to send me off, but I had no intention of leaving just yet.
“I’ll give you some jerky, so why not chat for a bit?”
“…Oh! Really? Thank you!! As expected, you are a great and wise warrior, chieftain!”
There was a slight hesitation before he answered, which loses him a point…… Well, his barbarian act is solid enough.
“So, what do you want to talk about with me……?”
Vector tried to subtly probe me, pretending to be carefree. Even though he was acting like a clueless barbarian, he was clearly curious. Well, I could understand why he’d be suspicious, considering I suddenly wanted to chat with him.
“It’s nothing much. I just wanted to hear about any concerns you might have.”
“Concerns……?”
Vector looked at me like he didn’t understand. Of course, the idea of me offering to listen to his concerns without being asked must have seemed absurd.
“Go on, tell me! What troubles do you have?”
“No, I don’t have anything like that……”
“How could that be! You must have something! Tell me! I have the right to hear as the chieftain!”
“…The right?”
He seemed to want to say ‘Isn’t that more of a duty?’ But I ignored it since it wasn’t important.
Soon enough, Vector gave me a strange look. It was like he realized, ‘This chieftain is truly a genuine barbarian……’ Honestly, I felt a bit ridiculous too. I didn’t want to receiving that look from someone who had once pissed his pants while drinking.
“Ahem! Anyway, tell me!”
“Well……”
“Hurry up!!”
When I asserted my authority as chieftain, Vector finally began to open up about his concerns.
“Uh… I’ve been worried about a friend.”
“Oh? What kind of friend?”
“A human companion I worked with before the labyrinth closed. His name is Hans Eliburn……”
“What……?!”
“Why are you so surprised? Do you know him?”
“No, I was just pretending to know him. So what’s the issue with this friend?”
“I met him in the city recently, and he told me about a great opportunity, asking if I wanted to go into business with him—.”
“Don’t do it.”
“Huh? But I haven’t even told you what the opportunity is—.”
What opportunity? Is there something wrong with his head? What are you going to do with a Hans?
“Don’t do it. When I say don’t, just don’t.”
I added a bit of killing intent to my tone to pressure him and Vector nodded with a bewildered expression.
“Ah, okay! I won’t do it!”
Huh, should have done that from the start.
“But, could you at least tell me the reason?”
“The name is ominous.”
“……?”
Vector gave me a look that said, ‘What the heck is this guy talking about?’ But that expression lasted only a brief moment. So, I didn’t pay it much attention.
“Well, that settles your first concern. Now, tell me your second one.”
“…Second concern? I don’t have any more concerns……”
“No, you definitely do.”
“Um… money? These days there aren’t many ways to earn—.”
“That can’t be a concern.”
“Well then, what the hell do you want me to say—.”
“Think about it. If you can’t think of anything, try to remember. If you still can’t remember, ask your heart. Do you really have no concerns?”
After pushing him a bit more, Vector finally spoke up, as if he decided he should say something just to get rid of me. Fortunately, it was more of a legitimate concern this time.
“…I wish the labyrinth would open soon.”
“As I said before, concerns with money aren’t—.”
“That’s not what I mean. I want to become stronger. The recent war made that desire even stronger.”
“Hmm?”
“…A lot of my warrior friends died in this recent war. If I had been stronger, I could have protected them.”
As I listened to the raw honesty in his words, I nodded silently. As I thought, the house was just an excuse, he was just hanging around near the cemetery.
“…It’s not your fault that you couldn’t protect them.”
“I know that too. This is a world where everyone must survive on their own. I just feel regretful. If those guys were still alive, we could have had such a fun time laughing and playing at this festival.”
“……”
“We always dreamed of having a house.”
“Well, now you’ll finally have one.”
“Right. I’m about to have a house now. But now I have no friends to boast about it to.”
Though I’m not sure, such a thought suddenly occurred to me. Maybe this is why he drank himself senseless, even pissing his pants. Maybe that’s why he endured, yet somehow, he kept desperately pushing through, even though it felt like he was about to collapse.
“This is my second concern……”
“I see.”
Perhaps because he finally voiced what had been weighing on him, Vector looked somewhat relieved, despite how things started.
“So, what should I do……? Tell me, chieftain.”
There was a faint hope in his eyes. Maybe he was expecting that I’d give him a clear answer to his problem. So, I obliged.
“Make new friends.”
“…Huh?”
“And become stronger. Strong enough that you will never lose them again.”
“……”
“Well, that solves your second concern. Now, I’ll be on my way. I’m hungry!”
Having successfully resolved the concerns of this newbie warrior I’d met by chance, I headed toward my destination with lighter steps.
***
Swooooosh-!
A cold wind blew, shaking the grass dried by winter’s chill. In the past, barbarians believed this was the spirits of ancestral warriors, fighting and playing. It was an unusually poetic and metaphorical sentiment for barbarians. After all, barbarians didn’t bury their dead, but adopted wind burial as their funeral method, letting the corpses naturally decompose in the wind and rain. Warriors became nutrients for the land and trees that grew from it. Well, it’s not like building a grave would stop them from becoming nutrients.
[Brown Rotmiller]
[Versyl Gowland]
[James Calla]
Tonight, once again, I stand before these three gravestones. Seeking answers to relieve this suffocating weight on my heart.
Swoooooosh-!
Of course, standing here doesn’t magically produce answers. It’s not as if I’d hear their voices carried by the wind, revealing their wishes to me. Even in a world where ghost-type monsters exist, such paranormal phenomena doesn’t happen. I’m the proof of that.
“……”
They’re gone. No longer in this world. And yet, I remain here, wrestling with my own concerns. What would they want from me, the one left behind?
‘Riol Warb Dwalkie.’
His wish had been simple. He asked me to take care of Missha. But I don’t think I’ve done a good job. I’m sure what he had hoped for wasn’t this vague relationship. Ah, at least I carried out his revenge thoroughly. Though thinking about it now, that might’ve been just my own desire.
“……”
The entire city is noisy from the festival, but those who’ve passed can’t enjoy it. Festivals are for the living.
Swoooosh-!
Suddenly, my conversation with Vector from earlier came to mind.
[If those guys were still alive, we could have had such a fun time laughing and playing at this festival.]
I couldn’t agree more. Every time something good happened, I always thought of the ones who were no longer here.
What if Dwalkie were still here? That dwarf would’ve played some mischievous prank, and he would have gotten red-faced angry at them.
What if Rotmiller had lived? Who knows, maybe this festival would’ve sparked something deeper between him and Shavin Emoor.
Then there’s Versyl Gowland, James Calla…… And all the others who left before me. What would it have been like if they were still here by my side?
“……”
I thought and thought for a long time. Of course, it’s all my own fantasies, no one knows what would’ve really happened. That future has already been erased. Yes, that’s probably why. Every time I think of those them I feel this lingering regret and sorrow.
“…I’m sick of it.”
I finally voiced the frustration that had been weighing deep within me.
This world is wrong.
Whether it’s Earth or Rafdonia. Looking back now, both are hardly any different. Perhaps that’s just the way of the world, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s wrong.
Human, Barbarian, Beastmen, Elf—.
[I know that too. This is a world where everyone must survive on their own.]
A world where only survival matters. I’m sick of this—.
“Ah……”
At that moment, I realized. What it is that I truly desire.
“Aah……”
I don’t want to merely survive day by day. I want to live. With the people I care about.
Hah.
Of course, this is just a wish and some cynics might scoff asking where such a gentle world exists. But so what?
I’m a Barbarian.
If I lose my teeth, I’ll chew with my gums. If there’s a problem with my head, I’ll just fix it. If I want to shout, I’ll just shout.
There’s no need to overthink it, this is no different.
If such a world doesn’t exist, then I’ll make it.
‘Looks like I have a lot to do.’
As I sat in front of the gravestones making plans that were close to delusions, I suddenly heard passionate cheers from far away and checked the time.
Tick-tock.
Yes, I expected this from how noisy it was getting.
[00:00]
This tumultuous year has finally come to an end.
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