C165
The next morning, Arsia welcomed me into her residence as yesterday and widened her eyes.
"Your complexion doesn't look good. What happened?"
"It's nothing major. I had a hard time sleeping last night."
In reality, after waking up at dawn, I couldn't fall back asleep because I had a lot on my mind.
The cause is the first memory of the real Ethel seen in her dream.
"I can't believe these two were really lovers..."
The vision of Terence accepting Ethel's confession was still vivid before my eyes.
"Ha, even though I told you so many times that it wouldn't be good for you to get involved with me..."
"But I like Tay."
"There's nothing I can do for you."
Terence said this with a somewhat bitter but shy smile.
The joy Ethel must have felt at that moment was transmitted to me, and I felt both happy and sad at the same time.
And an ugly feeling of jealousy sprouted in my chest.
I hated it when he smiled like that at someone who wasn't me. Even if it's the real Ethel.
"I really love Terence."
When I was married to Leandro, I never felt like this even though he was with his assistant all day.
I was just disappointed that he didn't dedicate as much time to me and felt humiliated by the fact that he didn't respect me as a wife.
But now, not only was I jealous, but I even wished to be the real Ethel.
"It really is crazy. What qualifications do I have...?"
Although it wasn't her intention, does she expect taking over Ethel's body in this way to also erase the fact that she and Terence were lovers?
I felt sorry for Ethel. But I had stronger feelings than just pity for her.
After all, I can't give up Terence.
That was the conclusion I came to this morning after battling guilt, jealousy, and resentment towards fate.
I know it's a selfish decision. Still, it was hard to imagine life without Terence.
Once decided, now I have two choices.
Should I tell Terence all this? Or pretend not to know and simply leave it behind?
"I think the Terrence I know would tell me that his first life is a thing of the past and that the person he loves is me."
Even last night, didn't he let it go when he heard the possibility that he might have sought revenge on Liena and Mikhail instead of dying?
Maybe because he himself hadn't read the novel like I did, he tended to focus only on the reality he was facing at that moment.
So it would be better to simply bury it somewhere and forget about it...
"Ethel-nim?"
At that moment, I felt embarrassed seeing Arsia's calm face calling me.
It's like an adult who has bad thoughts and breaks their heart when they see an innocent child.
"Whatever happens, it's not right to bury it. There must be honesty between lovers."
I promised myself that I would tell everything to Terence.
After addressing the immediate task of verifying the Saint.
"I'm sorry. I got lost in other thoughts."
"No! It's okay."
"But can't you just call me Ethel instead of Ethel-nim?"
"How could I...?"
"Arsia was supposed to become a saint."
"But still."
"It's my wish."
"... Alright. E-Ethel. If it's Ethel's request, I'll do my best."
After looking at Arsia with a happy heart while stuttering even though all I had to do was remove the word "nim", I picked up my bag from the floor.
Today, the divine beast had something else to do and didn't follow me, so my purpose was elsewhere.
After a while, I placed the leather belt on the table.
"This is the artifact that will help us at the time of verifying the sanctity."
It was one of the inventions that the eccentric inventor had gifted me some time ago.
Kais had advised me to use it only in desperate times because it had fatal side effects, but for some reason, it had already been confirmed that the side effects were not a problem for me.
"I'll put this on and open the door for Arsia. Then Arsia..."
I explained the detailed strategy, and Arsia listened to me like a diligent student.
"This is the end of the explanation, and the actual practice will be tomorrow. Can you come to the place I told you about?"
"I'll go even if it means sneaking over the wall."
"It's good to have that determination, but in practice, it's not really necessary, so there's no need to exert too much pressure on it."
"We have to do our best. By the way, are you leaving today?"
"Oh, actually, I'd like to see the Verification Gate again. Is that possible?"
Arsia readily accepted my request, and I headed to the deepest part of the Grand Temple, wearing my priestly attire like yesterday.
Plank! I clapped my hands loudly and looked at the dead insect's body.
"Why are there mosquitoes at this time of the year?"
Still, I caught the mosquito before it could bite me.
"Oh, wash your hands here!"
Arsia pointed to the drinking fountain in the corner of the room.
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