C121
"I guess you didn't find information that you were the person I was supposed to meet, Isidor."
The Master's mask, frozen like ice, shattered with my words.
It was like seeing the rough crack in the ice just before it broke.
I knew for the first time that he could make such a human expression.
"Finally, I know. That the Master's name is Isidor."
My assumption was correct as I looked at the restless Isidor, and I quickly snatched the coin near his hand.
The moment the Master confidently tossed the gold coin he always threw, I really thought that was the answer.
No matter how lucky he was, it was strange that it always came up heads.
"Heads and tails were the same coin from the beginning."
"..."
"I didn't know."
The fact that both are the same person.
No one would imagine that the Master is a high-ranking noble.
The Master always used honorifics and had clever tricks and tips up his sleeves while being well-versed in business.
On the other hand, Isidor was an aristocratic man who was more noble than anyone else.
Even their looks and voices contrasted like light and darkness.
The gap was so large that I never assumed the two were the same person.
"I even assumed that the Master might be Isidor's assistant or vassal."
When Philap suddenly sent a marriage proposal, I felt out of place when he eagerly offered to give away Philap's weakness for free.
It was just an assumption, and I couldn't understand it at all. However, it was the day I saw the play that I could see the relationship between Isidor and the Master from a completely different angle.
I suddenly had that thought.
Even if he changes his appearance and alters his voice, he might not be able to hide that person's atmosphere, faint scent, and the feeling of his uniqueness.
The night after the play ended, I felt like I saw a familiar shadow over his shoulder under the bluish moonlight.
It might be because his hand moved restlessly, or even his way of speaking.
I couldn't understand why.
Still, if I point out the reason why I thought the Master's shadow was Isidor...
It might also be because my feelings had changed.
After leaving that strange subspace, I definitely became more aware of Isidor than before.
I inadvertently watched him as I followed his actions and gestures.
Moreover, I could clearly feel the similarity in his voice and emotions when he looked at me, more than before.
"Maybe Isidor might have revealed himself to me defenseless."
Was it because of the déjà vu that suddenly passed through my mind?
When I looked at Isidor, who asked for my opinion on the Grand Duke, who has many secrets, I suddenly remembered his words the day I got drunk.
"The stronger the light, the darker the shadow."
Isidor's meaningful words to me when I said he was so perfect it was suspicious.
"Is there such a perfect person in this world? Either he hides his flaws or pretends to be tough."
Does he have a shadow he can't tell me about?
That's why I suddenly thought he might want to know my reaction after showing me that kind of play.
"Also, when he said he has many secrets, somehow..."
When I openly criticized the Grand Duke, I spent the whole night tossing and turning while remembering Isidor's bad complexion that became noticeable.
"I never assumed that person A could be person B like in the play."
The Master and Isidor had completely different voices and atmospheres...
However, my intention was to think that it was correct for some reason.
Honestly speaking, if he was the Master, the reason why Isidor never appeared in the novel was also reasonably explained.
Not long after I began to doubt him, Isidor sent me a letter with a romantic poem.
Through Muffin.
Moreover, it was inevitable that I felt embarrassed as I read the poem he quoted.
[In the middle of winter, a swan left a ripple on the ruined meadow with no trees and plants in sight.
The dark earth covered in darkness turned into a deep lake drawn like a circle.
It was a song for you who flew.
..... (cont.)]
It might have seemed like a poem about the realization of love at first sight, but the last line was too direct.
[The swan returns while spreading its wings over the cold winter lake.]
"This is very similar to the spell I have to memorize if I lose the spatial magic bag."
It was so cheesy that I was determined not to say it with my own mouth.
Moreover, the Master always used a black swan-shaped seal when writing a contract with me.
"The dark earth of the poem. Swan. It fits too well to be a coincidence."
Muffin. Cookie.
On the other hand, I began to bother that the names of the two pets were dessert names.
"Should I meet you only when I have some business? I approached because I wanted to see your face... Our relationship is what it is."
"It is what it is." One of the Master's favorite words...
Also, I squinted involuntarily when he said "it is what it is."
When I changed my perspective, I began to see that all of Isidor's actions were filled with endless conflict and hesitation.
"The decisive moment was in front of the fountain."
As Isidor made a wish in front of the Goddess Fountain, he whispered those words in my ears.
It was a tense voice, as if the strings were pulled tightly.
"I'll tell you for 99 gold, only because it's you."
Not 10 gold, not 100 gold.
A play on words that uses human psychology to perceive a smaller amount, which is cheaper, instead of the perfect amount.
It was a joke that the Master and I often said.
Even the peculiar gesture of tossing the coin in the air was the same; that's how I convinced myself that the Master was Isidor, so I couldn't utter a single word for a while.
"Of course, if I didn't change my perspective... If my feelings hadn't changed, I might not have been able to see the other side of the coin."
"Deborah."
As I recalled the past few days, I suddenly regained my senses when he called me.
The Master, who had been tense from the moment I appeared, rose from his seat.
He didn't take a single step on the large table in the office, and I shivered in surprise unknowingly when I saw him move.
My mind knew that the Master is Isidor, but I couldn't get used to it when I actually faced him.
"I'm sorry."
The Master suddenly knelt at my feet, and I almost involuntarily lifted from the chair.
"I kept thinking. To build the bond you mentioned earlier, you need to know who I am."
"..."
"But on the other hand, I kept thinking it's better if you didn't know until the end. Because you would be disappointed in me."
"... You gave me many clues even if you say that. Couldn't you predict that I might figure it out soon?"
Of course, I can't say that I'm clever.
"Even if I decided, I couldn't predict it."
"..."
"Your thoughts and feelings."
"..."
I looked at him silently, waiting for him to act.
Then, I stood up from the chair and made eye contact with him.
"The wish you made in front of the statue."
"Yes."
"What was it about?"
"It's obvious."
"That obvious wish, I can grant it, right?"
"... Yes."
"Then, instead of begging the goddess, shouldn't you have told me?"
The Master blinked slowly and opened his mouth.
"Even after knowing my secret, I wish you would forgive me, just like the protagonist in that play."
"I can't forgive you."
"..."
A feeling of despair reflected in his doll-like eyes as if it were a reflection of myself, enough to send a chill.
"Because I'm not angry, and I didn't feel betrayed."
"Are you so disappointed that you don't feel any emotion?"
"No."
I can understand.
Just like the female protagonist in the play, I can't forgive him because I'm not a perfect person.
"The fact that you have many secrets... Eventually, there must be some darkness that you want to hide?"
"..."
"It could be the past like the Grand Duke in the play or, sometimes, your true nature."
In my case, I hide my shy nature behind my cold appearance.
Tired of living under someone's control, I deliberately practiced a cold and authoritative expression and acted haughty with an arrogant tone.
"Probably I'm the only one who thinks living like this is comfortable."
I smiled bitterly.
"There's no one who doesn't have secrets. You can't even see the other side of the full moon that's not covered by shadows."
It may not be easy for me to tell all my stories.
"Even more so because I possessed someone else's body."
The Master's moist eyes in front of me trembled.
Although I can easily understand it, I felt strange to find him quite difficult all this time.