C125
Above all, the word divorce struck Zachary.
Zachary, furious at the mention of divorce, pushed Bianca away from his chest and looked into her eyes. There was anger in his dark eyes.
"Don't speak of divorce so easily, Bianca!"
"You wrote it in your will first!"
Bianca responded. Seeing him act so sensitively now, it seemed that he didn't like the choice of the word divorce. But who wrote it in his will?!
The unresolved issues that had been overshadowed by Gautier's death emerged like a thorn in the eye.
Zachary's hands tightly grasped Bianca. Desperate, as if he wouldn't let her go.
He was highly agitated, the veins on his thick, long neck bulging. His eyes seemed clouded with obsession.
"The only way you can leave me is when I die!"
"Don't say you're going to die!"
Both raised their voices. Bianca didn't move. Her impulse to respond to Zachary burned like a violent flame.
After yelling vigorously at each other, silence fell. Zachary and Bianca gasped for a moment, holding their breath and collecting their thoughts. At this rate, it seemed like they would only end up arguing with each other, raising their voices as high as they could. They didn't have much time.
It was Bianca who spoke first. She pitied herself.
"I didn't even want you to know that such a future exists. Surely you will despise me when you know the future. So I hid it from you. I had no choice but to hide it. I still don't want to tell you..."
Zachary also admitted that he had become too agitated. Calmer now, he comforted Bianca with tenderness and determination.
"... I could never despise you. It was also inevitable to hide it, so I understand. The dream you had is just a dream. It's just a dream from God. No husband despises his wife because of a dream. It's impossible. Don't be too extreme, Bianca."
Even from Zachary's perspective, Bianca had been pushed mentally to the limit. That was probably why she fainted. Zachary decided that there would be nothing good in continuing the topic, so he tried to appease Bianca, but she didn't back down easily.
"You are needlessly killed in the war. God chose me as a Saint to show me the future, so I can prevent your death. You can't die. If I ask, the paladins will be delighted to join. So please..."
Bianca's cheeks were stained with tears. Her voice trembled, and her eyes burned. If she hadn't been sitting on the bed, she was desperate enough to kneel before Zachary immediately.
Zachary stared at Bianca in the face of the proud woman's desperate plea.
The identity of everything that had remained a mystery was revealed. The missing pieces fell into place.
Why did he suddenly mention his successor, why did he meet with the Archbishop, and why is he so reluctant to participate in the war...?
Zachary had to give Bianca an answer. But his lips didn't part easily. He didn't know what to tell her, someone who wanted to prevent his death.
Unfortunately for Bianca, in this situation, what Zachary was feeling was a clear sense of happiness.
Zachary would have been happy if Bianca didn't want him to die.
However, as Bianca was desperately trying to avoid his death, he felt that his existence was too great for her.
Bianca looked at him in such a sadly tragic and charming way. As much as he wanted to grant her request...
Unfortunately, Zachary couldn't give her a positive answer.
"I can't, Bianca."
"Why?!"
At Zachary's immediate response, Bianca opened her eyes in disbelief and shouted. It was a situation where she had all the cards she could present in front of her. Since she had no other means to convince Zachary, she was unsettled by his denial.
"The Paladins must be great knights. But they alone cannot stop Aragon. Aragon is a very strong opponent in the war."
Zachary was called a hero for a reason. If Aragon had been a simple, easy-to-face opponent, Zachary wouldn't have been so praised just for stopping them.
It's not that he didn't believe in the power of the Paladins, but it would be good to exclude as many unstable factors as possible. Especially when it came to Bianca's safety. He couldn't leave Bianca in an uncertain future.
Furthermore, Zachary had symbolic significance as a hero. His mere presence terrorized Aragon and made their allies less powerful, so it was advantageous to participate in the war from a moral standpoint.
"To deal with Aragon, someone who knows them well is needed, and that's me. I am the only one, do you understand?"
"I don't know. I don't want to understand..."
Bianca covered her ears and shook her head. Zachary's words were perfectly rational. That's why she felt upset. It seemed like his argument was like a child's whimpering.
"I am a knight, Bianca. I made a name for myself with the sword, and it helped me succeed and marry you..."
Zachary muttered to himself. What would be left of Zachary de Arno other than war and death? Zachary's last pride, and the only thing he could do to somewhat match Bianca, was to prove his worth through war.
If he hadn't been a war hero, would he have been worthy of mention as Bianca's marriage partner?
To be honest, in a corner of his heart, he had a sense that the appearance of the Paladins was not very welcome. He knew the Paladins were great knights. So he was even more anxious. If he leaves the war to them, perhaps he would lose the value of his existence...
So, even if Bianca is a Saint, nothing would change. On the contrary, the feeling of indebtedness for not being able to match the woman who was so noble and chosen would grow.
She prophesied Zachary's death, but there was always death on the battlefield. In front of Bianca, he always shouted that he wouldn't die in the war, but he never went to the battlefield, relying on the belief that he would return alive.
So there was no way he could do the job of hiding behind her before dying.
Even if he feels so much sorrow for her, to the point where he wants to listen to her pleas immediately.
"Then, I can't put down my sword. If there's a war that needs me, it's my duty to go."
Zachary's determined face made Bianca feel depressed.
She wondered if he would treat her differently as a Saint, but even though she knew she was a Saint, it didn't seem important to him. Because Zachary was not a man who behaved differently based on his opponent's status.
His firm denial took Bianca's breath away and gave her some relief. Ironically, Bianca comforted herself.
She knew it would be impossible to steer Zachary away from the war. Death alone is not an excuse to stop Zachary. That's why she was so busy trying to eliminate variables other than the war.
War always came with death. Her husband was a man who turned death into money. How useless would it be to tell such a man to fear death now?
But knowing it doesn't mean she can't do anything. So she tried to change his mind.
There were moments when she believed in herself. Didn't Francis say she was chosen because she was the only person who could change Zachary's future? So, even though she knew Zachary would reject her offer, she had expectations.
But as expected.
"Was I truly chosen by God? If not, could Archbishop Francis be lying to me? Why... do things not happen as I want them to? What the hell?"
When all attempts scattered without being able to do anything, a sense of helplessness enveloped her. Bianca encouraged herself by saying she shouldn't let it pass, but doubts arose in the midst.
"What's the point of clinging to this? He and I would still revolve around the same topic."
While Bianca was deeply upset, Zachary continued.
"However, I will take your advice to heart. I will be very defensive against assassination attempts and look around more than usual. So don't worry too much. Honestly, I'm glad that you think so much about me, I don't think I can die."
Perhaps because he regretted not breaking his stubbornness until the end, his voice was very soft. But as he spoke, his face strangely changed. As if while speaking, he had realized something...
He moistened his lips as if he had something to say. He furrowed his brow, as if it were something difficult to say.
"It may... be a shameful and arrogant misunderstanding. However, maybe..."
Zachary stuttered.
Unable to guess what Zachary was trying to say, Bianca focused on his lips.
Zachary's eyes, which had been hesitant for a long time, shone as if they had made a decision. Taking a deep breath, he asked, looking directly at Bianca.
"Bianca, do you love me? Even if it's just a little, do you love me?"
------------
An unexpected sharp question was directed at Bianca.
Bianca involuntarily inhaled.
This time, it was Bianca's mouth that was blocked.
"Even if it's not much... just a little. Is that why you're trying to prevent me from dying? You said you didn't need any legacy I left behind and that you didn't want to annul the marriage. I know you're trying to avoid my death because you're a Saint, but your attitude is too exaggerated to be just that. No matter how much I think about it, I can't think of any other answer. Please let me know if I'm misinterpreting something. I won't be presumptuous. Okay?"
Zachary asked Bianca as if pleading, with a flushed face. As he said that, he didn't expect much love from Bianca. If it was even just a little, not because she was his wife, but because she herself liked Zachary then...
"I..."
Bianca's long fluttering eyelashes swung up and down. Her soft lips trembled slightly.
"What should I tell him? He's going to leave me anyway. He won't listen to me..."
Her resentment towards Zachary, who had just rejected her plea, was clear.
But at the same time, a corner of her heart hurt when she imagined how he would feel if she added a little to her love.
She left several possibilities for denial, even when he asked about her love, saying he wasn't being presumptuous and that it could be an arrogant illusion.
Bianca looked at Zachary. His face, bronzed by the war's sun, was bright red. It was the first time he had blushed so much.
Until now, she had been cutting and guessing, and if there was any possibility of getting hurt, she quickly hid inside her shell. That's why she buried her relationship with Zachary.
She opened the box of her feelings and was afraid of what might be inside being more than just love. Bianca, not wanting to hurt herself, put chains around the box. Then she decided that he was only being kind to her out of responsibility.
But now, she instinctively sensed that it was time to remove the chains. It couldn't be like this forever. She no longer wanted to hide it with lies. She didn't want to regret...
"To you... I... I love..."
Bianca opened her mouth. Once again, tears welled up. Bianca rolled her eyes and smiled, and with a tearful voice, she confessed her feelings that had been silently buried.
"If I don't love you... whom could I love...?"
She finally said it. The words that came out of her mouth were so clear that they couldn't be misunderstood.
Bianca trembled. It was something she had kept hidden. When she said it, she felt more relieved than regretful for not saying it. The pleasure of breaking taboos. The things that had bound her until now dispersed.
Bianca wiped away her tears and looked at Zachary. Zachary widened his eyes and looked at Bianca without understanding. What appeared in his eyes was suspicion that he couldn't believe the current situation. He was so agitated that he seemed more confused than when he found out Bianca was a Saint.
He couldn't say anything and kept his mouth shut, but suddenly he tightly embraced Bianca.
"Bianca."
Embarrassed by the strong grip on her shoulders, Bianca shook her body. But she couldn't even move. He was now blindly clinging to Bianca, like a man who couldn't see anything else.
Zachary's lips touched Bianca. He kissed Bianca over and over again, rubbing his cheek against hers. Bianca was so adorable that he seemed unable to resist.
"My love."
Bianca was first surprised by how sweet Zachary's voice was, and secondly by the meaning of the words. Now that she thought about it, she had heard kind words of kindness on some occasions, but never of love.
While Bianca was taken aback, Zachary called out to Bianca joyfully, unaware of how shocking what he said had been.
"Say it again. With clear words, definitely convince me."
"I love you."
Bianca murmured, but she couldn't believe the situation. When Zachary said he was going to war, it felt like hell, but now it felt like she was drinking sweet fruit wine. Bianca, intoxicated by it, muttered over and over again, not comprehending.
"I love you..."
It was a very weak voice, but it was clear enough for both of them. Zachary put Bianca on the bed.
Bianca, still unable to regain her senses, looked at Zachary. Zachary's face was covered in unbearable irritability. He wanted to communicate with Bianca immediately and couldn't bear what he wanted to do.
Zachary's and Bianca's tongues intertwined and embraced without knowing who approached first.
Zachary's hand moved diligently. His left hand lifted Bianca's skirt, touching her thigh, and his right hand clung to Bianca's left breast. Meanwhile, Bianca clung to Zachary's neck as if it were a lifeline.
For a not-so-long period of time, the two distracted each other as soon as they could. Despite it being winter and the cold air seeping in from the stone wall, the air between them heated up.
Taking a moment to catch her breath, Bianca gasped and asked Zachary.
"And you? Am I... not bothersome? I'm the person you were forced to marry, so aren't you living with a sense of responsibility?"
In response to Bianca's question, Zachary, who was caressing Bianca, stopped his hand. Zachary raised his torso and looked at Bianca. Zachary's eyes that gazed at Bianca were serious.
Bianca, anxious about what Zachary would say, swallowed.
"Of course, it was responsibility at first. Because you were seven years old and I was an adult. I promised to take responsibility for you somehow."
Zachary laughed bitterly. He could still see the young Bianca, who was still crying bitterly, on the day of the wedding.
Until that moment, he never doubted that Bianca hated him. Every time he looked at her, she would close her mouth and furrow her brow, so it was even stranger to think that she liked him.
Still, as Bianca was his wife, he vowed to do his best. Meanwhile, time passed and several seasons went by.
The girl grew up in an instant. The girl who used to be a crybaby turned into a young and elegant lady, and Zachary gradually couldn't take his eyes off her.
As Bianca grew, she ignited a fire of desire in Zachary's heart. As much as he believed he was an ascetic, Zachary was startled by the fierce flames that seemed to engulf him.
Within his limits, he raised his girlfriend...
Every time that feeling of unease surged, Zachary scolded himself to stay strong.
The more he tried to satisfy his greed, the more he knew that he had no choice but to become a villain to her.
Zachary didn't want to hurt Bianca.
Before marrying Bianca, Zachary lived solely for success. So, he agreed to marry Blanchefort.
However, after Zachary realized the desires of his heart, he realized that he was striving for success for Bianca. To give her something better. To be a better husband to her...
He knew nothing but the love he gave. He didn't expect to receive it because he thought it was shameless greed. How could he expect to be loved by Bianca when he gave her more reasons to dislike him than to please her?
It was the same even after mixing his body with Bianca's. Did Bianca accept it only because she settled for her husband? In the end, she has to live adapting to him, such relentless adaptation...
That thought kept lingering in a corner of Zachary's mind. So, he did his best to be kind to Bianca and take care of her.
As such, Zachary couldn't believe this sweet dream-like moment.
"But after one year, another year passed, and so on... The thought of having to take responsibility for you changed to the thought of wanting to take responsibility for you. You have always been my wife, Bianca. The only person I could love was you, and the only person I loved is you. If I don't love you, no one should know what love is."
Bianca took a deep breath at Zachary's confession. The part that came into contact with Zachary was hot as if it were on fire. Bianca stammered, averting her gaze from Zachary unknowingly, while her face heated up.
"Until now, you never said that you liked me..."
"I was afraid that my heart would be rejected by you, Bianca. Under the name of a hero, I am a coward... Until I was convinced of your feelings, I couldn't properly confess my heart..."
Zachary's words represented Bianca's feelings. Unfortunately, they looked at each other with the same thoughts. They have always thought the same way.
Bianca burst into tears that she couldn't hold back. Bianca's pale green eyes were covered in tears.
"You still cry."
Zachary gently caressed Bianca's face with his hand. Tears ran through his fingers.
"You always used to cry when you saw me."
"At that moment, I cried because I was scared, and before that, I cried because I was angry, but now..."
Bianca wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Even before the tears dried, a big smile broke through.
"I cry because I really like you, Zachary."
Tags:
TWB (Novel)