C121
If Zachary's true intentions were in consideration of Bianca, there was still an unresolved issue. Bianca struggled to counter with a trembling voice.
"Fine, if that's your will, then there's no need for contraceptives. You said you didn't want to send me back. So, after all, you need a successor..."
"You're young!"
Zachary raised his voice as if it was ridiculous at Bianca's words. He seemed unyielding, as if there was no room to even consider it.
"I couldn't control my greed, and I slept with you, but you're still young... I can't get you pregnant now. Do you know how many women lose their lives giving birth?"
Bianca couldn't hide her confusion as she looked at Zachary, who commented as if it was terrible just to think about it.
Seriously... for this reason? Just because I might die in childbirth...?
Her head felt confused by a reason she had never thought of before. Bianca's hand, which was tightly holding onto Zachary's arm, slowly loosened. Bianca staggered backward. Zachary quickly grabbed Bianca's arm in a precarious gesture as if she was about to fall to the ground.
The atmosphere, which had been at its peak, temporarily entered a state of calm. Zachary spoke softly to convince Bianca once again.
"There's no reason to have children before it's time. As originally planned, it's enough to prepare after turning 18. Two months. You just have to wait for two months. Why are you so anxious?"
"......"
"You're not going to tell me again this time?"
Zachary laughed bitterly. Bianca noticed that Zachary's "again this time" referred to what Bianca had intentionally hidden about her conversation with the Archbishop in the capital last time.
Bianca remained silent. There was nothing she could say. Her head felt like it was about to break, and her eyes hurt. As if she was tired enough to cry...
She realized it was a futile deception to think that Zachary might not consider her his wife. Zachary was actually only concerned about Bianca...
However, that didn't solve all their problems. Thinking about the future made it even more difficult.
"The freedom she will gain by dying is meaningless..."
Bianca wanted to immediately cancel Zachary's will and ask him to stop using contraceptive methods, no matter the risk of pregnancy. However, with such a strong stance, it was obvious that Zachary wouldn't easily accede to Bianca's request.
"How do I convince him?"
Bianca closed her mouth and shook her head.
However, like pulling tangled threads, thoughts rarely resolved themselves.
As he accepted her silence, Zachary's impulse quickly changed.
"I guess not."
His gentle attempt to convince Bianca was nowhere to be seen, and his questioning voice seemed even threatening.
Startled, Bianca lifted her head and looked at Zachary. His black eyes burned like smoldering embers.
"Am I an unreliable man to you?"
Zachary seemed like he was going mad. Bianca's inability to believe in his truth, coupled with the fact that she was hiding something from him, cornered Zachary more than he had expected.
"What the hell made you think I would abandon you? That I would send you back...?"
As he thought about that, he felt like he was going to die of frustration.
The corners of Zachary's lips twisted. When he met Bianca, Zachary was already an adult, and Bianca was a girl of less than 10 years old. Zachary always tried to maintain his reason for Bianca, as he was a guardian and an adult. Because he thought it was his duty as an adult.
So he did his best to restrain himself. He didn't raise his voice against Bianca, didn't get angry, didn't make too much of a fuss... He tried to show only the tranquility and calmness of an adult.
However, the efforts that had accumulated until now collapsed like a sandcastle in an instant.
Anger consumed him like a wave. Has he ever been so passionate in his life...? He even got upset with Bianca for not trusting him.
It could be said that this was the first time he felt resentment towards Bianca in over ten years of marriage. As such, Bianca's comments touched the evil that was hidden deep in Zachary's heart.
"Are you doing this because you can't trust me that much?"
"You are..."
Bianca struggled. Zachary's passionate plea was desperate enough to shake the hearts of women, but Bianca's face remained stern. Zachary is not the only one who is unhappy.
Her lips showed a hint of having a lot to say.
"If you don't give me children, it's probably because I'm not trustworthy."
"It's not like that! I'm always worried about you...!"
"Me too!"
Bianca shouted. A scream reverberated against the stone walls of the room.
Yes. She understands why Zachary is using contraceptives. However, just because she accepted it in her head, it didn't mean it was easy to accept it directly with her heart.
Especially because Bianca has to have a child anyway.
After taking a breath, Bianca continued speaking with difficulty.
"Give me certainty."
"What certainty? Even if you don't have children, you are the only wife for me. You don't have to feel anxious."
"That's not enough."
Bianca pursed her lips. She somehow had to convince Zachary to have a child earlier, but Zachary's defense was as strong as a fortress.
Not relieved by Zachary's confirmation that Bianca was his only wife, there were many reasons to want to have children.
Would she mercilessly ignore Zachary's consideration?
No. But the future was approaching every moment.
According to the future she imagined, Zachary will die within six years, when Bianca is 23 years old. At that time, Zachary will be thirty-six years old and at the peak of his career as a general.
Zachary's death could be earlier or later. But God chose Bianca to show her the future, so in the end, it was nothing more than the future to come.
Bianca needed certainty. Confidence that she can change the future. The confidence that she can save Zachary by doing so.
The things she had changed so far were not enough to be sure. The lace, the journey to the capital, the consecration as a Saint... If asked if all of that is a turning point in Bianca's life as significant as Zachary's death, she would firmly shake her head.
A sure step to change Bianca's future was to have a child with Zachary. Something that didn't exist in the past. What she desperately wished for after waking up from her dream.
Even when Bianca believed that she had returned, she was determined to have a child with Zachary to not succumb to helplessness.
There is no way such a strong commitment would be meaningless. If God had arranged it this way, wouldn't Bianca's attempt to have children have something to do with stopping Zachary's death?
In the past, she wanted a child to live, but now she wants a child to save Zachary, however... She didn't just want to have a child as a means. As much as she was in love with Zachary, Bianca sincerely wished to have a child of her own.
Of course, the relationship between the child and Zachary's death was only Bianca's assumption. But there was nothing she could do, so she desperately clung to it.
She felt like she wanted to cling to Zachary's legs and beg. It wasn't like Bianca, who used to engage in a back-and-forth struggle with Zachary. Bianca, who was so desperate, pleaded with Zachary.
"As you said, there are only two months left. Two months... It's not that big of a difference. I don't want to fight with you like this."
"It's the same for me, Bianca."
Zachary smiled bitterly as he said that.
In anticipation of his response, Bianca held her breath, hoping for a favorable answer.
But Zachary remained firm.
"But my beliefs won't allow it. I already broke my oath once by sleeping with you before you turned eighteen. Two months will pass quickly. Just wait a little longer."
With a gentle voice that seemed to try to convince Bianca, Zachary forcefully expressed his intentions that there would be no room for change. The kind tone was even more cruel.
No matter how she tried to persuade him, it wouldn't work. Bianca, realizing that, vehemently criticized Zachary.
"Stubborn! Hypocrite! You're a Pharisaic man!"
"No matter how much you curse me, my decision won't change."
Only two months. Zachary's two months and Bianca's two months were used with opposite meanings. The conflicting arguments had no room for retreat.
And neither of them had any intention of breaking their stubbornness in the slightest.
-----
Angry, Bianca looked at Zachary with tears in her eyes. Zachary reached out to wipe Bianca's tears, but he couldn't reach her, and his hand remained suspended in the air. In the end, their hands awkwardly retreated.
Bianca burst into tears. Her white cheeks were stained, and the tip of her nose turned red. Sadness overwhelmed her. Bianca spoke, trying to calm her voice, which had been eroded by tears.
"You can listen, you know... Anyway, there's no guarantee that I'll get pregnant just because I stop using contraceptives... Even if I get pregnant now, I'll have a baby next year, so..."
Zachary looked at Bianca as she cried sadly. The fact that he wanted to appease Bianca but couldn't fulfill her request embarrassed him.
Zachary stared at Bianca for a long time with a gloomily distorted face.
His head dropped to the floor and didn't move. His shoulders, trembling incessantly, showed how sad he was.
Zachary made her so sad. Zachary, who couldn't always make her laugh, couldn't bear the fact that she didn't have an angry expression and made her burst into tears. She hated to see him like this...
Bianca didn't know how Zachary was looking at her. Once the tears started, they didn't stop easily. Bianca, who had never shown her emotions so violently in front of others, was ashamed and cried for a long time.
"Even if you don't love me, I still believed that our hearts were somehow connected..."
At this time last year, when she visited Zachary, who had just returned to the de Arno estate, and told him that he should have an heir, the resentment she felt in Zachary was revealed once again in front of her.
It's like going back to that time. It has been almost a year since she woke up from her slumber, but Bianca felt devastated when she realized that not much had changed.
How much did she cry?
Her body felt dizzy as if all the water had escaped from her body. Exhausted from crying, Bianca wiped her tears and slowly raised her head. Zachary, who was in front of Bianca, suddenly disappeared.
Bianca stared at the spot where Zachary had been. Tired, devastated, and terrified. Everything was so disordered that it was difficult to know where to start.
Bianca chuckled. Just an empty laughter that fell while the wind intermittently blew through her room.
-----
Since then, the relationship between Bianca and Zachary has been shamelessly cold. It became normal to have separate dinners, something they often used to do together, and they simply stopped entering each other's rooms.
Even if they crossed paths in the hallway, there were moments when they ignored each other. Bianca would quickly turn around and leave as soon as Zachary came into view, and Zachary allowed her to do so.
At first glance, it seemed like Bianca was angry and Zachary was waiting for her anger to dissipate. But those who knew the de Arno couple well knew that it wasn't all.
To be honest, they weren't very surprised that Bianca was angry. Bianca had acted quite maturely during the past year, but just a year ago, she would easily get angry when something she didn't like happened.
The problem was Zachary. He usually tried his best to alleviate Bianca's anger. Being a straightforward man by nature, it was impossible for him to console her with sweet words. Instead, he would silently comfort her by getting her what she wanted. Whatever it was.
However, the present Zachary did not step forward. It was because he had no intention of granting Bianca's wishes.
Neither Bianca nor Zachary gave in. In the end, the situation turned out to be a battle of stubbornness between the two.
That's why the only ones uneasy as they watched were the vassals. Vincent, who had to seek the opinions of both the Count and the Countess to prepare for All Saints' Day, was desperate.
"Oh my God. His will ultimately triggered a problem...!"
Another wrinkle formed between Vincent's furrowed brow. He pressed Zachary for an explanation, but looking at what's happening now, it seems that there have been many misunderstandings.
"Yes. It was wrong of me to ask the Count to explain in the first place. I knew he wasn't so eloquent... Besides, the Count tends to keep silent when he should apologize. I forgot about that."
Vincent let out a sigh of regret. When it comes to Bianca, Zachary surprisingly doesn't usually respond well, so he expected this to happen, but it ended up like this. In fact, if Vincent had coordinated things properly, they wouldn't have come this far. Vincent let out a sigh of remorse.
Vincent recalled what was written in Zachary's will.
"If Zachary dies while Bianca has no children, the marriage between the two is annulled and returns to the Blanchefort family, and the estate and wealth of the Arno family belong to the Blanchefort family."
The content of the will was written in favor of Bianca until the end. At the moment Zachary was writing the will, Vincent, who was observing by his side, constantly complained that it made no sense. He also didn't forget to sarcastically say that if his wife found out about this will, she would do everything possible to kill Zachary.
Of course, Zachary listened to Vincent's concerns through one ear and let them out through the other.
Even then, Vincent had no doubt that Bianca would gladly receive the content of the will. After her husband, whom she didn't love much, dies on the battlefield, she would return "virtuous" to her parents' house with gold and silver jewelry.
But the problem is that things have changed in the last year.
Bianca changed suddenly. She, who had been wasting time in luxury and idleness, suddenly became interested in the territory and even mentioned the topic of a successor.
That's not all. Despite people around her trying to convince him, Zachary, who firmly insisted he wouldn't sleep with Bianca until she turned 18, finally gave in.
Zachary was a stubborn man who never changed his mind once he made a decision. So it was surprising that he had been able to break Zachary's determination that way.
Anyway, the recent relationship between Bianca and Zachary was good. Although it wasn't a relationship filled with deep love and passion like a courtly relationship, it seemed to be a relationship between an ordinary married couple. Perhaps a little better than that.
That was the problem. Men and women's affairs are subtle, and the conditions that were favorable to them just because they got along well have become very unpleasant. It was the same, even if they weren't deeply in love.
Rationally, even if she knows that Zachary's will is in her favor, she will feel betrayed along with the feeling of being excluded from the Arno family through that will. As long as they are not on the same boat. She can disembark at any time if it becomes dangerous...
Vincent also understood Bianca's anger. If Zachary had told Vincent:
"Forget about the responsibility of my death, don't seek revenge, become someone unrelated to the Arno family and serve another master," Vincent wouldn't have been able to bear it either, so how could his wife feel?
"I would have been even angrier if Madam had accepted the will without getting angry... It was no different from treating the Count as a stud who earns money instead of a husband. I would have pulled my hair out, saying that I was a fool for thinking he had changed."
Of course, that doesn't mean the situation is positive now.
If Vincent had known that Zachary was using contraceptives, he would have immediately visited Zachary without having to think so complicatedly and made a scene to stop such foolishness. But Vincent had no idea what was exactly going on between the two.
He complained for a long time, not knowing how to approach and help with the reconciliation.
"At a time like this... Yes, I should listen to others' opinions. It would be better if several heads put their minds together!"
Vincent's eyes gleamed with determination. He ran straight toward Yvonne and the others. He shouldn't be the only one uncomfortable with the situation.
As Vincent had expected, the others were also very supportive of Vincent's desire to reconcile the two.
Yvonne sighed and murmured.
"But how can they reconcile? He said the cause is related to the Count's will. So, modify the will or..."
"It wouldn't be easy... Besides, since the Count's will was made out of concern for his wife, he wouldn't have the face to see the Count if something significant happened if he hastily fixed it. And the Count won't fix it."
As soon as Vincent finished speaking, another sigh arose. Sauveur murmured, scratching his head as if he was worried.
"Both of them are stubborn and don't listen to what others say, so this is really..."
"It's much better to persuade Madam than to persuade the Count. I don't trust persuading the Count."
Robert shook his head as if it were not possible. Zachary's stubbornness was very reassuring on a chaotic battlefield, but at this moment, it was truly embarrassing.
Yvonne, who had been listening silently, asked sternly.
"Do you have enough confidence to persuade Madam?"
"......"
Faced with Yvonne's sharp question, Robert remained silent. Both of them knew very well that the other person's master was not an easy person to convince.
Tags:
TWB (Novel)